Hi, I'm Barney, and this is my site, full of the coolest, funniest and cutest birthday cards ever. There are hundreds of cards all available for you to print totally free of charge.

My card are all split into categories which you can see in the navigation bar on the left hand side. Pick a category and take a look - Here are a few of my printable cards just to get you started.

I have also put together lots of funny birthday card sayings, so if you are stuck with what to write in a card simply copy one of these.

"In the end it's not the years in your life that count it's the life in your years"

"It takes a long time to grow young"

"The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything"

"Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of YOU to the world"

"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age"

"Few women admit their age, few men act theirs"

"Love is grand, divorce is a hundred grand"

"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once"

"Birthdays are good for you, statistics show the people who have the most live longest"

"After all what are birthdays? Here today and gone tomorrow."

"Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. "

"About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age. "

"For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday. "

"Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years."

"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act."

"Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened."

"Age is a number and mine is unlisted."

"When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm five I'll be 64."

"When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half."

"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest."

"Women are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age."

"Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs."

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."

"After 30, a body has a mind of its own."

"If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes."

"I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do."

"Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday'."

"Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty."

"The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet."

"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."

"Like many women my age, I am 28 years old."

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not."

"Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative."

"If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself."

"You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime."

"To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am"